Its funny how much minute details can bring back some or all memories related to that image. I was listening to some The Fray on a night ride after school to just think and as I stopped at a red light, I let my mind slowly wander around. As I let my eyes relax to stare into the blankness of the night, I refocused my eyes as soon as the lights on the other side of the much empty road start to turn yellow. my first image was a wet patch of grass accompanied by the intro of Never Say Never.


Things just rushed back in, and I felt like I wanted to remain in that limbo between alert conscious and semi-conscious dream-like state.

all I could do was smile as I smelt the grass from Summer evenings spent with everything painted in a wonderful pink and gold as I strolled through Castletown Park with Niamh or perhaps the greens around the playground with peeps pissing myself laughing. Just the little things.
And the main highlight of that evening would be Castletown house steps in view of the gold-pink bathed field with the gazebo towards the left where memories have been made, the hills that resembled the Hollywood hills which we have dubbed so. Then towards the left where we know the River Liffey would be, and always be regardless. And to top it all off, the stroll back through Castletown forest to Niamh's where we just sit and talk about sweet fuck all... Love's a wonderful, terrible thing. Its pure bliss, but it drives you nuts. Especially if you're much of a nut job beforehand.

Its not too long before I hear blaring horns of a retarded driver who could just reverse and take the other lane considering its a very empty road. I'll consider that a slap real/metaphorical bringing me back to reality.

People say things happen for a reason, and I guess me leaving Singapore paid off after all. But me coming back. There's a reason to that too yes? Its not to have a taste of love and move on - or at least I hope. So far, it proves that the relationship would be more to it than sex no matter how great it is, there's still more to it than that. And also its a test of strength and in my opinion, we're still as hard as a rock. But... It might be fading. Or at least I have this sinking feeling that it is. I do believe its the added pessimism with this train of thought but its nevertheless terrible. And also the pessimism I get from everyone else.

At times, I don't really mention it to people but I suppose I'll use this as a medium to get it accross to people I'm not that close with. Adults seem to think "Ah, its just normal, first time in love, he'll get over it" But to be honest; would you? Like... Think about it.

The radio is just... Fail as it kinda puts the name of young-love to shame. No wait, I'll take the young-love word back. Love's love yes? Like, yeah... Justin Bieber and Ludacris. Puhleaase. Just listen to it. Puts love to shame.

Ah Valentine's day is on Sunday. Fun shite yeah? When you're kinda alone-ish, not really.

I just realized, I never ever was alright with someone calling me "theirs". Especially in exclusive relationships. Because I want to be my own person... But now, being someone's, regardless of the distance is the only thing that keeps me going these days. Keeps me able to function on 5-6 hours of sleep everyday, and maybe less in order to keep communication going. Communication's crucial peeps..


Blahh, corny sappy post. I'm just munching on McD's after passing the drive-through as I type this. Gotta head home before midnight so, yeah I'ma head home now xD

Peace out people. And Fantailyxo

Labels: Fish Fillet, McDonalds, Night Drive, Sappy