I've seen both sides, and I choose love over anything else :)

Love you dan, ehhm. On skype to you now so I guess I should talk to you.

Niamh xo

Labels: Dan, love, Niamh, rape

Luuulz, ilyyy Nicky, thanks for teaching the nub hao to MS word =D

In very traditional asianness, the act of parentals controlling the lives of their offspring is quite common and a major pain in the ass. I was just out in the main hall roughly 5 minutes ago, walking in on my dad and my uncle talking about my future. What did I hear? "I'm thinking of going to the phillipines with Dan and he'll go to one of the universities in Cebu" and I just stood there behind one of the pillars thinking '... Wait, isn't this my life too?'

Thus the creation of this post.

Parents do want the best for their child, but in most instances, they don't know if it is even possible to do it. Like for one; The O' Levels. I was taken away from what I hold dear to me in pursuit of academic success and a 'more recognized qualification'. A tad bit overkill Don'tcha think?

Here's the kicker; I'm to do a 2 year course within a span of 7 months, and I'm to "Focus and put in a lot of effort", and that loosely translates to "Put your social life on hold till its over". I'm sorry but my attention span is terrible as it is, and the only release I get is hanging out with my peeps after school for a bit. But noooo, its full steam ahead with the studying, learning and revision for a 'quick' 7 months. Time passes by fast yes, but its gonna be zonks doing 7 months straight of no social activity or interwebs and stuff like that. Yes people, they're thinking of taking away the interwebs from me D:

Up to a certain degree, its understandable, but they didn't have to go overkill on it. Perhaps if they can actually fathom how stressful or hard its gonna be, instead of regretting over their missed chances during their childhood on how they should've done more studying and all that shite and trying to redeem themselves through me, I'd be fine instead of being problematic and whatnot.

Now I'm talking to my mom on MSN. She's under the impression that its something mere tutoring can help me learn. All she thinks is just "You can study and listen well in classes, you'll do well". Honestly... HOW THE FUCK? Sure it makes sense when I put it just like that, but basically, for Irish peeps, think about doing the Leaving Cert in 7 months whereas all the other lads have got like, the past year and 2 months in the bag?


FUCK! I'm just soooo frustrated right now. Iono why I'm doing this through my blog, but if someone has enough balls to explain to my parents that this is a bad idea and going back to Ireland would be a better one, just, please hit me up on msn or something. I'm just feeling really helpless and powerless over my own future right now =/

Labels: HELP

Its funny how much minute details can bring back some or all memories related to that image. I was listening to some The Fray on a night ride after school to just think and as I stopped at a red light, I let my mind slowly wander around. As I let my eyes relax to stare into the blankness of the night, I refocused my eyes as soon as the lights on the other side of the much empty road start to turn yellow. my first image was a wet patch of grass accompanied by the intro of Never Say Never.


Things just rushed back in, and I felt like I wanted to remain in that limbo between alert conscious and semi-conscious dream-like state.

all I could do was smile as I smelt the grass from Summer evenings spent with everything painted in a wonderful pink and gold as I strolled through Castletown Park with Niamh or perhaps the greens around the playground with peeps pissing myself laughing. Just the little things.
And the main highlight of that evening would be Castletown house steps in view of the gold-pink bathed field with the gazebo towards the left where memories have been made, the hills that resembled the Hollywood hills which we have dubbed so. Then towards the left where we know the River Liffey would be, and always be regardless. And to top it all off, the stroll back through Castletown forest to Niamh's where we just sit and talk about sweet fuck all... Love's a wonderful, terrible thing. Its pure bliss, but it drives you nuts. Especially if you're much of a nut job beforehand.

Its not too long before I hear blaring horns of a retarded driver who could just reverse and take the other lane considering its a very empty road. I'll consider that a slap real/metaphorical bringing me back to reality.

People say things happen for a reason, and I guess me leaving Singapore paid off after all. But me coming back. There's a reason to that too yes? Its not to have a taste of love and move on - or at least I hope. So far, it proves that the relationship would be more to it than sex no matter how great it is, there's still more to it than that. And also its a test of strength and in my opinion, we're still as hard as a rock. But... It might be fading. Or at least I have this sinking feeling that it is. I do believe its the added pessimism with this train of thought but its nevertheless terrible. And also the pessimism I get from everyone else.

At times, I don't really mention it to people but I suppose I'll use this as a medium to get it accross to people I'm not that close with. Adults seem to think "Ah, its just normal, first time in love, he'll get over it" But to be honest; would you? Like... Think about it.

The radio is just... Fail as it kinda puts the name of young-love to shame. No wait, I'll take the young-love word back. Love's love yes? Like, yeah... Justin Bieber and Ludacris. Puhleaase. Just listen to it. Puts love to shame.

Ah Valentine's day is on Sunday. Fun shite yeah? When you're kinda alone-ish, not really.

I just realized, I never ever was alright with someone calling me "theirs". Especially in exclusive relationships. Because I want to be my own person... But now, being someone's, regardless of the distance is the only thing that keeps me going these days. Keeps me able to function on 5-6 hours of sleep everyday, and maybe less in order to keep communication going. Communication's crucial peeps..


Blahh, corny sappy post. I'm just munching on McD's after passing the drive-through as I type this. Gotta head home before midnight so, yeah I'ma head home now xD

Peace out people. And Fantailyxo

Labels: Fish Fillet, McDonalds, Night Drive, Sappy

When you come from a family where your very own respect is based on your academic achievements instead of what you are as a person, you tend to get bombarded by lectures regarding how everyone else goes all over the world and how going to that university would do wonders for the lecturee.
Then there's that dark lil part of it; The green eyed cookie monster that wants the bestest cookies of them all, blinded by jealousy or envy, parents usually stop at nothing in order to attempt to top the other members so that they can go to their little get togethers, they can brag about how their daughter or son is in Switzerland going to some elite academy.

Sure, academic success does play a crucial role in life, but its not the only thing in life yes? What about friends? The sense of belonging somewhere? Love? They tend to prioritize academic success over all these.

Honestly, would you be happy if you're wealthy and have an awesome car that turns heads but spend most of your time working to the extent that you rarely get to use your car, or socialize for that matter. I'd rather live in some average house, where my peeps are and with someone I love.

Being thrown around places in the name of academic achievements basically fails. As soon as you get settled down, you get taken away again and you're like "...Kill me". Just... take the lil things in life and love it like no other.

Faaalll! Whoooshhh. Ever wondered what it would be like falling? Like... From a really tall building, then at the last second seem to come to a major halt, then continue falling at the remaining speed landing safely? Well, yeah, if only...

When it comes to being bummed out, I tend to pathetically let myself fall deeper into it. And no, not like a "Ohmygawd, oh the black abyss of emotions" like an emo. Just... Falling, really. And falling deeper usually starts with a routine consisting of; feeling sorry for myself, followed by a pessimistic outlook at the current circumstance then finished with a dash of "FML" for a lil kick to it.
But after the waterworks, don't you feel kinda liberated and ready to take on more shit? I mean, letting it out entirely, or as much as you can till you can't cry no more. Then hope there's someone to catch you when you do hit the floor. Or at least make your landing much safer. *fingers crossed*
Bring it on bitches!

Labels: emooo, Falling, more falling

Heyyy noobs and pros alike! its beeen aaages since I posted amirite. Know them itty bittie thoughts at the back of yo head (IS REDICULOUS) where you find near-wisdomish or Confucious-like that you wanted to share with the rest of your peers but fail to bacause you're in the bus standing next to some old lady that's about to drop anyy moment, then when you get home going all "Ah fook" since you forget?

Well, I'm reviving this blog with a new kick to it. Posts will be short and sweet and gets to the point. I hope. Unless I decide to share my ways of the ninja and how to kill people as I take a long ass bus ride.

either ways, I'm baaaack!

Labels: moBlog, New

Whooo happyface. Attempted blogging from Windows Mobile noobs!

Labels: Cookies and windows mobile