Sorry for not updating my bishes! Just busy, somewhat...

All I wanna do right now, is just sleep, even though I have much important matters at hand. Its that depth of indifference where even the most crucial aspects of life seem less important compared to my own mental well being. You might be thinking: "If you feel that way, why don't you start caring?". Well, I CAN'T! Its the very fact that I don't care, and CAN'T care, thats frustrating me. I know how its getting messed up, and I know I should do something, but oddly I'm just not able to do it.


Yesterday, after coming home, the laptop disapeared to a land far far away; one of mom's friends. As always, she does it in a futile attempt to get me to pick up a book and do something productive.


So okay, computer's gone, you'd think I'd do something productive right?


Well, no. I went down to take a walk with We The Kings and All Time Low. Along the way contemplated on jumping down from my 6 storey apartment building since the decent would be much faster than taking a claustrophobic elevator with people I don't even know nor like. Yes, nor, and yes, I'm anti-social. I guess its the computer that keeps me sane, its the fact that I'm merely a click away from communicating with everyone I know in the real world who happens to be on that very time. Plus if I'm feeling a bit down, I can just talk to peeps, get a trivo or more going on, or just talk on Skype, whatever floats my boat that very day.





I've been asked, why do I play WoW (World of Warcraft, for future refferences to you noobs) or any other online multiplayer game and why do I prefer spending most of my waking hours on it. Here's my reason;


When you're in an online game, there's that cute or cool looking avatar(the character that you control), move around, talk to people in real time masquerading as "Brutal Gladiator Pewpewfish" or "Pewpewfish the Love Fool" not your old self. Its the whole insecurity deal. Everyone has something they hate about themselves, and try their very best to change who they are to suit another person/people's needs. In-game, the avatar you created was made to your prefferences, or a portrayal of your ideal self, so there's the insecurity gone. With that gone, you can just go to some random player and be like "Hey, what's goin on?" or "Oh hai thar, kan I haz newdz?" without feeling that silly. Imagine that in real life. If I can just get over the insecurity, gain more confidence, I wouldn't be such a screw up with matters concerning the ladies, right?


Another sad truth; I play a priest. Out of all the classes, I play a priest. For one, its fun when I go into Shadowform and bend the dark-side of "The Light" to my own dark deeds. But the main reason was so that I felt needed. DPS-ers (damage dealers) are a dime-a-dozen. You can be in the "Looking For Group" channel to raid a dungeon for hours due to the sheer amount of them. But as a priest, you'll get tells like "Hey, could you heal for us please?" without having to go search for a group. The group finds you. And when you heal, people on the vent ( a voice communication utility) will be telling you what a good job you're doing keeping them alive and keeping your cool in pressurizing situations. Plus, you get this sort of God complex where its up to you if the group lives or dies. Know what I'm saying?


And if you get hurt in real life, either physically or emotionally, you'd want revenge, but what if the person is someone you can't take down?


And if you get hurt emotionally, say someone shatters your heart, you sit down, take it like a man even though you're dying inside.


Shits different in-game, someone fucks around with you, and if you know how to play your class really well (be it a rogue, a mage, a hunter, warrior, whatever), you can kill them over and over again as soon as they respawn to your hearts content, or until they say "Fuck it" and log-off and hope you go away or perhaps quit the game altogether. That by itself is a personal victory, thus healing whatever wound there is to heal, be it fully or partially, nevertheless, its a quicker healing process. Plus, you've gotta admit, the fact that getting owned by a teenage kid playing a priest, going by the name of Pewpewfish owning your ass to oblivion has to sting don't it?





Thats why I flip out whenever the threat of having my laptop being taken away from me is imminent. After taking a walk and coming back, its still 3-in-the-freakin afternoon. With me still thinking: I should study... No wait, fuck it.


I bought a family sized coke, and turned up Kerrang TV and just chilled chugging it down slowly.





This morning I figured, since its sports day, I might not go to school, just take a day off, who the hell cares about tomorrow anyways, right? Well, I used to. But it went out the window along with my sanity. Then again, I had to do my tech project. Like the loner that I am, I stayed inside, filing away at the brass piece I cut out while the others are outside in the huge field chilling in the sun. Fuck my life...


Currently with Joey chillin at the library checking on shit I've missed the uhm... 48 hours I was gone...


Yeah, a short time-period and I'm already going insane. How pathetic.


If I'm alive by the next time I get my computer, gonna Twitter more, blog more, Facebook more, oh you get the drill.


Peace out ladies and gents.