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START -->Dan Jabbar's Profile  Create Your Badge Well I know what I've been told U gotta know just when to fold, But I can’t do this all on my own No I know, I’m no superman I’m no superman PROFILE Not simple but neither am I the wiser. I'm a hugger, everyone knows I am. Just 'that other foreigner' in Europe trying to find his way somehow, picking up a few things along the way. I love my peeps, I really do, I've been there for them, they've been there for me. I live by simple 'Eye for an Eye' rules. I'll do unto thou what thouest doeth unto me. A futile attempt at Shakespeare but worth a try. Blogging is a past time like any other, I'm an avid gamer but I try to balance it out with a fairly active social life. TWITTER Music
TAGBOARD EXIT HERE Niamh <3 Lucy Qin Hui Amanda LuLu Lutfi Jia Xin Saliha 1m3 05-06 Hema Iqbal Rady Xiaoyin Naddie Wan Zoe ARCHIVE CREDITS Codes: -RAJAHchindian | Inspiration: kissandtell | Background: Kollermedia | Image Host: Photobucket |
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Saturday, April 25, 2009
Courtship  In the 21st century, most of the communication done is through the impersonal method of electronics and via teh interwebz(lol), which somewhat broadens the horizon when it comes to chicks. As nice as it may sound, depending on either party, technology is a very evil evil thing. For example, when you ask someone out, it usually begins with the request of certain means of contacting one another, like a phone or by instant messaging. Either ways, it doesn't really fit right. Why? In most cases, they will find out about each other beforehand, and maybe have already peaked having conversations that they won't have much left to say. But what if things go well? You send her home, kiss at the door, then drive home with that adrenaline from the initial kiss that you think might be the beginning of something beautiful. Or is it? You then head home, head still pumping but nothing to do... You look at your phone... You pick it up, and start typing. Wait what?! Didn't I already say good night along with the kiss at the door? Whatever happened to I'll CALL you TOMORROW? Yes, call. Most of it is done through mini bite-sized notes which we dubbed texts... Thats actually not the worst part, its the fact that it is saved, unless you choose to delete it. Right, so you text her. Oh joy, she replies! You've got a good conversation going right? OK good. As it gets deeper in, where what you say next may either get her more into you, or put her off completely. You press the send button... Here goes... The moment of truth... No turning back now... Silence. You see, silence isn't really a good thing because men have a really bad habit of overthinking when things start to not go according to plan. We factorise EVERYTHING down to the last smiley face. The fact that its a text, it can be perceived in any way. Something like selective perception. And our perception is ultimately retarded, it forces us to perceive the worst of things no matter how we try. Now you start overthinking; The last reply didn't have a smiley face, is she getting bored of me? Did I say something to come off as a player? Oh shit, she's taking longer than usual... Nah she's just sleeping... Or did she not want to talk to me anymore? Those thoughts paired with nothing to do is the ultimate cookie cutter for total retardation. If you have your phone long enough, you will know when a message is coming to it even before it beeps. Maybe your internet sign starts going grey notifying that a phone connection is being used, or maybe something starts blinking, whatever. You look out for there signs, which result in staring at your phone 15 times every fucking second, and re-reading her texts and your replies to her for comfort, until she replies "Oh sorry hun, I dozed off" at 9 in the morning with drool covering the screen. Oh great... Now she thinks I'm either too clingy or boring. Either ways, its total self-sabotage... Thats how we guys are. But then again, its all done for you girls to make sure we can make you as happy as possible without you asking for it. We try to read between the lines though fail epicaly. Give us guys a break once in a while, its all for a good cause; you. Anywho, yeah, just popped into my head, had to blog it before I forget. i tried to fly; 2:58 PM Friday, April 17, 2009
 Oh God no, 3 days, school... But hey, at least I made most of my Easter - I think. Thats a look of how I am if I decide to portray myself as 'shaggy'. No numb-nuts, the noun, not that awesome ass dude from the classic Scooby-Doo. Figured I'd stay away from anything remotely related to computers for a very healthy portion of the day, and went out instead. Yeah, alone, I know (sarcastic sad-face). Its either that, or lie down and over think on every aspect on my current life and what do I do with it, then it gets into deeper depressing stuff, which explains my need for my head to be occupied most of my waking hours. I went for really casual, just a pair of jeans, a shirt, and the coat, nothing much. Things just felt really good, iPod on full blast, just chilling, wandering around town. Its the mere fact that I'm not participating in the ongoing rat race at that very mome which put me at an odd sense of calm and joy combined. I know that look I'm adding sleeping pills and red bull but yeah. I was actually singing in an audible tone in a crowd! To be honest, I didn't give a fuck, I was over the moon. Did the entire routine; Head to HMV, check out whats new in the music scene, then gaming, checked out headphones, bought a new one and picked up a copy of Kerrang! magazine, then to reliable Starbucks. But this time, not the one at O'Connell Street, walked up to Stephen's Green to chill at the tables outside. Grabbed the coffee, and there was this girl... Its not like 'oh that girl', guys would know when they see random attractive girls on the street and give maybe a glance or two, tops. But we seem to have that 6th sense that tells us that a girl is 'some other shit', in a good way of course. Its just everything about her, posture, smile, the drink I believe she was drinking, and that 'aura' she had, just threw me off my game, not that I had any game to begin with. Nevertheless, with normal girls, my confidence falls below average if I'm going to attempt to fish for their number, but these ones just make my confidence drain big time. Maybe its just me, but within a few minutes, I was self-conscious about everything. The way I'm holding the cup, the way I take a sip, the music I'm listening too, hoping she doesn't hear what I'm listening too in fear of her not liking it, and every minute detail hoping its all perfect and not put her off. She caught me looking at her, she smiled, I did almost immediately after. Note, she was with guy friends, so they start teasing her. Oh great, a pre-school flashback... I was already shy enough when it comes to those girls so I got up, and stumbled away. Yes people, I frickin stumbled... As I walked away thinking about how I'm gonna abuse myself later, I took a detour, from my usual ongoings just for the lulz. Somewhere I've never gone before because I was too busy on my way to some place that I never noticed it was there; the real Europe. From 3 I walked around till 6-ish, wandering randomly looking at the essence of major world art and current influence, it was just epic win. Gonna add more shit tomorrow, TBC i tried to fly; 4:31 PM Thursday, April 09, 2009
The Emo Corner It just seems to be that every time I have a really lively conversation with someone, I get really down and mellow(marshmallow :3) for a good while later. I'm the one that thinks he can do it all while staying sane at the same time, but recently I figured it wasn't true. Yes, I'm a slow learner. When I see people fuck up real bad, you'd expect me to 'learn from their mistakes', but hell no, its just something about me that wants to experience it first hand, thinking maybe that 2nd time it might be different. Rarely happens, in fact, it never has so far. Lately, all I wanna do is put everything into perspective, sort shit out, and also a couple of other people's thrown in. But in all fairness, I couldn't really help you guys out when I'm in a mess myself, it just feels like hypocrisy. At the end of the day, its just you and your conscience, and its something I don't wanna face right now. Oh great, lookie there, can't even stay on topic for a few sentences. My head is just everywhere right now. I'm actually fucking THINKING about what to blog about. It usually just flows out seamlessly but there seems to be this giant thumb restricting the amount of juice flowing through my head. I don't know what I want, but I'm hoping its somewhat meaningful. Actually, I just wanna move on, NO reminiscing, NO thinking about what could've been, NO drama to dwell upon. You know, there's just too much stuff to do. No matter what I do, I just get sidetracked. It would seriously, really feel nice to get back into my head again. The whole routine is just; Wake up, heads not really thinking, go to school, head is just trying to get through the day. Head home, change, immediately head out, focusing on others instead. Head home, sleep. Thats pretty much it. So far, what I'm reading makes no sense to me whatsoever, just opening a can of worms I suppose. I think all I need is someone, or maybe something, that I can talk to on a random basis, without me coming off as 'needy' or 'vulnerable'. I'm on the verge of going ultimately insane. I keep looking at the pack of Winston's in my drawer for 5 minutes without blinking... Then closing it again. It seems like the answer to everything will come to me if I light one of those up and really think. Then the entire 'Good versus Evil' thing plays in my head. The angel goes 'Don't blow it, you've come so far!' 'Do it, the moment of clarity is well worth it!' chimes the devil immediately after. Maybe its time I asked for help, or just open myself up that bit more.. So here goes: Help... i tried to fly; 2:55 PM Saturday, April 04, 2009
Kudos to the inactivity-streak. Maybe I just got tired of this crappy looking computer mom refuses to lend me the cash to restore, or maybe I'd rather head out since its spring! Or maybe she just takes away the computer. Whatever, an excuse to go out nonetheless. So heyyyy! It's Easter! And to celebrate it, I went to catch Knowing with Nicky. Whatever gets him out is fine. Then again its like an emo-grenade... Weather's all fine till he goes out >.> No, I r kidding brah. Go figure, when things are usually going well, I jinx it by mentioning how well its going then get myself screwed over. This month wasn't one of the best I would say. For one, I came home, then passed out at the door, had to go to the hospital and see a shrink due to 'Physical and emotional exhaustion'. Another factor in my inactivity. I had to take a break and clear my head a little. Don't have much time to think or blog these days, its either I'm out at work or I'm doing some project since I tried my best to put it off to the last minute as usual... i tried to fly; 4:13 AM |
