So far I'm actually having a good start in turning over a new leaf. No cigs, no alcohol(well a slight sip yesterday, I try to limit myself greatly), and I've been going out more, thats a good sign right?

Naddie, I'll blog mmmkay? Here goes, to you.

Usually when people are worried about you, its just too much. Always is because at times its uncalled for, and usually it would be over-protective, thus adding to the feeling of annoyance. For one, they've gone through it themselves, seen others going down that path. To every action, there's a consequence, cheesy line, but it does ring true, and retribution or reward will be carried out according to whatever you do. I do know that little work from time to time is just fucked up, but its better avoiding any more shit from your parents. At this moment you're thinking "Pssh, easier said than done..." and oh how right you are, but think about it this way: The shit you're going through right now, will the extra things you'll be doing worth it? Worth avoiding crap from your rents? From personal experience, my parents really annoy the living shit out of me, and during those worry discussions, it really pisses me off, but they're just being them. The beauty about it, is they're there when you need them, but also they're there when you don't. My dad is talking to me as I write and I can say, I'm just annoyed the fuck out right now, but he's there nonetheless, so I might as well make it worth his while, as they say, its the thought that counts right? Give it a bit of thought, but not too much thought or you'll end up like me: Fucking cynical... Trust me on this. Sure, the time with them not bothering you is pure heavenly, but after a good while, you're gonna start to miss it.

Anywho, my opinions from here. What I don't get these days is people worried about me changing, and they even compared me to when I was a kid. Seriously?!?!?! Hell the only thing I knew when I was a kid was to eat, sleep, play... Maybe eat sand once in a while, but I didn't know much, and I was easily influenced by propaganda bullshit or anything that my parents told me. "Don't whistle at night or the ghosts will come after you" my mom used to say, and I BELIEVED THAT. Not now I do, obviously I gained more understanding about the stuff going on around me. I mean, sure, back then in the old and really narrow minded times, these were actually believed, and to the minority that knew this wasn't true, they re-enforced it nevertheless because apparently it was very effective in preventing people from doing so. Retarded? Indeed. Smart? True. Going off point there, okay, but now I've changed from being a dump innocent kid to one aware of the total shit thats going on in this world, what happens? I get chastised for pointing out the obvious, knowing stuff I "shouldn't know". I know they're trying to shield me from that or at times just ignorant, they've gotta know that its just downright inevitable, let it go...

Today went unbelievably well, I ditched school, but I knew there was gonna be a consequence to this tomorrow. Ah well, half half day, I wouldn't waste my time in school if I'm gonna be there for 2 hours.

Decided to chill around at Nick's place to chill for a really short bit, then went out to Liffey Valley, then back to Nick's again. Damn I found out how badly I sucked at Guitar Hero, I mean sure I wasn't THAT bad, but holy crap. For consolation, he had it for a really long time before I did, so that kinda makes it alright to suck. His lil bro was pretty cool xD

I really do apologize for my cynical-ness, but its just the lack of cigs and alcohol talking, give me a good while till I'm someone fine. Quitting it is like riding a bike with training wheels that can be taken off, yes installed really easily. The training wheels would be the bad shit that I put into myself that seem to make my life easier in the short term, but fucks me up completely on the long term. What happens when you take the wheels off? You will be all wobbly and fall down a good number of times, you feel like you wanna quit, but the end result is worth it. Think back then of the times when you first bought your "big boy/girl" bike, as my dad used to call it. Apply it to me situation, hope you guys understand.

At this very moment, I'm listening to a news report. A terrorist attack has been carried out in Mumbai. 80 people killed, mostly targeted Americans and other tourists. To be honest, I actually feel sorry for whoever did it. Think about it, what the hell drives people to that very extent where they have nothing else to live for. There are a really good number of factors, not countless, just a fair number that I couldn't be arsed to mention right now, well perhaps one main one: Poverty. It just fucks people over constantly. I've seen those charitable organizations, looked into them, wasn't too pleased. But I learned a few things, there are two types of aid, bilateral and multi lateral aid. Bilateral aid would be giving it directly to the government and they will distribute the money among his people who he vowed to serve, and multilateral aid, where its given to the organizations where they will do it properly. I mean,for a country thats actually requiring aid, the government must've been doing something wrong. So here's the deal with bilateral aid:
Money goes to government, prick takes a "small" cut, then it goes to different ministers and then they all take a small cut, then it goes to the people. So for every dollar you donate, the people are actually getting only 10-25 cents. Likewise with the good people who help bilateral aid, all the money they spend shipping the food, water, medical aid, and the fees for moving the money itself.

People in power these days... If I were to be given such power, I would refuse as I know at what point of power I'm capable of handling. They aren't true the the flag, they only care about offshore bank accounts.

Oh screw, I'm dying for an intelligent debate. Share like different opinions and stuff.

Anywho, I think I might head off, peace.

Well, there goes it. My level of cynicism has just gone through the roof. Perhaps its just the withdrawals from lack of fags? Everyone around me? Maybe. Then again it would be just typical to blame everyone else isn't it? I do know I'm in a dark place right now. I'm just gonna stick to my belief of it being a rite of passage on turning over a new leaf. I've went a week without lighting up a cig and I feel great! Well not really, its an attempt nonetheless and also a record. A week, yeah. Been cutting down prior to last week then stopped. Cut off completely. I know its nothing significant but it sure as hell means something to me.

Not sure why but any discussion of religion just pisses me off entirely. Why? It just does. In my OPINION, its more of a way of life which people choose to lead. Doesn't mean whoever it is that sets the example of how we should live, is the fucking lord or someone great. We just felt that it was somewhat genius. Still it doesn't make sense right? I mean, back then, people believed the world was flat, the sun and the other planets revolved around the Earth, the Pope was infallible, doomsday predictions etc. All bullshit isn't it?

I'll take the one about the Pope being infallible in conjunction with the theory of "The planets revolve around the Earth": It was possibly the 1500s (can't be arsed to look it up now, let me rant!), It was Nicolaus Copernicus who made a discovery that the Earth WAS NOT the centre of the (or this) universe, instead, the sun is. He published a book about it. And guess who crashes it? The Church, by the big man himself. He was told to take back his theories because the bible said otherwise to his theories or risk being excommunicated from the Church. And you know, back then, being excommunicated meant either being killed or you go to hell, and people actually believed the latter. So the poor guy had no choice, he took it back. Later in the 1500s, Galileo Galilee, confirmed his theory, and many other scientists went along but had to keep it on the down low. Close to 500 fucking years later, only then, did the Pope admit he was wrong.

Whoa whoa, rewind! Infallible was perceived to be some sort of divine right, given by God itself, to the Pope, some almighty wisdom, which means he is never wrong. But what happened there?!?! How the hell was that infallible? He fucked up! Get it?!?! Gets you thinking doesn't it? Gets the believers thinking don't it?

I do ultimately apologize for putting it in such light, BUT, its fact. Did I pass out and suddenly in some alternate universe where its wrong to tell the truth?

It looks bad doesn't it, I'm only chastising one religion. Oh no, no I'm not. My overall message is not saying "fuck religion", I'm saying think for yourselves!

There's nothing more controversial than Christianity and Islam right now.

The reason there is news in the first place would be the bad news being fed constantly to the media. Yes, blame the media. The only thing being aired right now is just bad news. Good news comes once every month or two. Ever noticed that? See, that's what causes ignorance, which will be also the cause of our own downfall. That's the cause of all the hate right now.

I feel blogging helps me relieve these things from my head so it helps a lot. I do sincerely apologize if I offended anyone. Just expressing my views. Anywho, end of my rant,
Peace

Well well, looks like my sleeping pattern has been fucked yet again.

As soon as I came back, I was just absolutely knackered, but I had to help mom move some stuff to the new house. Yeah, we moved, again... Bright side would be that I wouldn't have to changes houses this time, isn't too bad really.

Continued with the usual trivo's with Wan and Naddie. I mean seriously, we just seem to click. We talk shit about everything thats anything for ages until Naddie has to go then its not much fun anymore xD Ah well, they're gonna have to head off some time soon. Looks like I've gotta wait next summer to get my old self back.

I'm pretty much dead here, the cold isn't helping either, it just seems to emphasize my laziness somehow. This is so unlike me... I was supposed to do my project briefing a while ago but I just can't, no motivation AT ALL.

Out of boredom I decided to take one of those personality tests. One of the questions kinda struck a chord in me: What is life?
It was those multiple choice questions and one of the choices were 'That's a stupid question'. Gets ya thinking eh? No? Well it got me thinking. To be honest, you can't really say, tell or describe what life is about. Life is life itself, one too many paths to go down, different views, different mindsets, different OPINIONS. Yes, opinions. With that thought made, my conclusion: Life is an opinion. To some, life is all about true love and friendship, but to others it would be the total opposite. See? So life cannot really be defined, plus, it would really suck if it could because that means no originality, uniqueness.

Then again being unique is impossible. Really is in every single aspect of your character. I'm pretty sure there's a loop of human characteristics that make us human but they're not infinite, once it comes full circle, you will then know how unique you are, so technically it doesn't exist, but will exist. Get my gist?

Back to life, you see where I'm getting at? That's not life if it could be defined, thats like a fucking dictatorship. I mean, sure thats ideal but doesn't mean I should devote every bit of my life to it. Like religion. I'm not gonna go into further detail but those who are more open minded will get my reference...

More ranting about how the world is =. =" perfecto...

3.10am, GMT+ 0... Fuck this guys, gonna crash at 4, wake up at or 5, wake up at 7am for school later on. Peace.

About time I did some shitty slip shot work for something really important like I always do. Ah well I'm gonna have to catch up sometime soon I figure.

While being sick for the past 3 days, I got really bored and decided to clean my keyboard... I know, my keyboard, and not just any other keyboard, its my laptop's keyboard!





Nothing else better to do =/ Ah well, slept even more then woke up today hoping I've not missed anything important. Screw school I know but then again I wanna do this for myself! And hey, guess what? I'm fucked! Yeah, got majorly boned by trigonometry, perfecto.


Oh how gay... Plus, I've got my O' level Technology project planned out by tomorrow. On top of all that, I've got some really pressing stuff on my mind lately so I took a fairly long walk, hell I just came back! I'm not too sure why but I just snapped a pic. Looked way peaceful and sooo European-like. You know, those movies when one of the characters has to think about stuff, clear his head, its always in that setting: Dark, bright warm street lamps, one person walking all by his lonesome. Talk about cheesy xD



Got home, checked the temp. Brrr...


Yeah, that's life for you...

So earlier on today, after I came home, chilled around a bit, went on msn, the usual, but while chatting about really random crap, we (we being me, Wan and Naddie) decided to turn our trivo into some conference thingy. Technically it was my idea but oh what the hell. Something I barely do but hope to do more of in the near future!

Ugh possible detention tomorrow since I missed Wednesday's due to sickness, hope the prick forgets, I really do. Even if he does, fuck that I'm not going to no detention on a Friday evening. Dick could suspend me for all I care... Geez what's wrong with me...

Its almost 3 and I'm gonna need some sleep for tomorrow
Peace.

Hah! Priority numero uno: Get some rest.

I knew I was coming down with something yesterday but didn't hope I would be sick. I meant it in a good way seeing as my immune system usually boots it out the very day.

Was fairly bored yesterday so I headed out to some carnival called "Toys 4 Big Boys". The name kinda gives it away BUT a good bit of it was pretty much well... chick stuff. Massage thingies, nail parlors, handbag shops, well you get the gist. I'm gonna figure that's 12 euro wasted. Went paint balling at some place afterwords and got wet in between.

Well you do the math. Sweat + Rain and being wet for about the next few hours = Sick.

I woke up the next day with a slight throb but anywho, I could suck it up and go through the day without a problem but I just can't be arsed, so I just exaggerated the sickness and well waddya know, she bought it, I can stay home. Just to rub it in Nick's face, I texted him saying "Cya tomorrow =p". Lol its a thing we do to top each other in basically everything thats anything. What's a little friendly competition to keep a good friendship alive eh? But we know our boundaries nonetheless.

Recently I just came to a conclusion, or maybe a statement or a rule I just set myself: Never want anything too badly. Be it anything, if I get to a point where I would want something so badly, and finally get it, I wouldn't have the same enthusiasm for said object/person anymore. People I've talked to recently pretty much helped me got to this conclusion so you know who you are, thanks.

I've been feeling somewhat frustration towards everything that's anything and its really going to my head.

I really have no idea what it may be to be honest, just really pissed off for some reason. I just wanna detach myself from reality itself, just for that few moments of peace. Maybe its just some dawn of truth that hit me when my Junior Certificate (an exam similar to the O's back home) technology project briefing paper came in the mail with its official-ness so I figure it made some sorta impact. I really gotta mug hard for 2008/9 if I'm ever gonna go where I would want to.

I'm setting my sights on possibly getting a masters in psychology in conjunction with philosophy, not too bad eh? I dunno why psychology, maybe I just enjoy helping people. Cheesy? Indeed, fact nonetheless.

Barely watching the presidential elections that went on, I still wonder why the fuck is the rest of the world celebrating it? Could be ignorance but whatever, even though America would be pretty much in the center of he world (figuratively of course) what, why or how would some president affect whatever that's going on in other nations. Like seriously...

I really should get a new blogskin when I can be arsed. I just feel like chucking my laptop out the window right now.

Peace out.

This has been probably the most unproductive week-off I've ever had.

My to-do list I prepared out of boredom while going through a double period of business basically went to waste.
Get new blogskin ( )
Return overdue library books ( )
Get a lot of rest (x)
Study for upcoming French test ( )
Buy more post-its ( )

Not sure really, just have no drive to do the slightest chore.

I've tried blogging on cue multiple times and it doesn't work. Really, I sit for like 15 minutes in front of my laptop and my mind goes blank but it comes easy while doing the dishes. Weird eh?

Hallow e'en went pretty good even though I can't remember what happened though vague flashes. The ritual here would be to head out, go trick-or-treat-ing, get a few drinks and just get wasted, come home around 4 in the morn. The whole thing would begin by leaving anything of value to you at home seeing as its gonna be fairly dangerous at night, then head out, grab friends, do the whole get-candy-routine, chill out somewhere, light up a bonfire, then get wasted.

I don't have much recollection but I believe twas fun nonetheless, might be receiving pictures soon xD

Never mind, too tired to blog now.